"...it has always been entirely up to you."

“Don't take my advice. Or anyone's advice. Trust yourself. For good or for bad, happy or unhappy, it's your life, and what you do with it has always been entirely up to you.”

― Nicholas Sparks
(THE BEST OF ME)

I had to make a CONSCIOUS effort to refrain from stopping at McDonalds this morning for a $1.09 Diet Coke. It was so hard, but I came right on home to my slimfast breakfast protein shake. It doesn't snuggle me quite like the fizzy diet elixir of my life, but I decided that's what I was going to do, and this time I actually did it.

Seeing as how I have to think things through first in order to make them actually a reality, I think I will have some water next and then for lunch...well, i'll have to see what's in the fridge.

The hours of 2-6 are safe today due to my nannying job. I realize that when i'm helping others, I feed myself less. While nannying, I feed the kids, but rarely partake. They have nasty water where they live, so I have to bring my own in, but that is fine. I love our water here.

Today's challenge will definately be making something out of nothing in the fridge. I know for a fact that Sam has Hot Pockets in the freezer, but NOBODY feels 1) satisfied or 2) good about their lives after eating a Hot Pocket. I will definately steer clear of those.

There are some frozen chicken tenders that I can do something with..?

Here I go into the adventure that is August 14th.

next adventure with food will be peanut butter fudge made with saltine crackers.
i cant imagine why this works but it had good reviews

green smoothie. eh. i know.

(okay here goes) i. ashley meek. have made a green smoothie. against all my better judgement. this has peanut butter (because i dont have a vitamix to crush the death out of almonds), 1 nectarine, 1/2 cup frozen blueberries (because we are out of 2 fresh strawberries), 2 cups spinach, 6 oz water (because i dont have coconut water), 6 ice cubes, and 2 packets of stevia because it tasted really gross without. here goes. i have not tasted it after the stevia, but the recipe i looked up ACTUALLY said "man up and drink it down" . so i will do it.
(also a touch of almond extract)
the stevia made the pb flavor come out. its intense, but i would say HATE. i mean i wouldnt say hate...

I can't figure out what I hate more...
struggling through weight loss or being fat...

discouraging

Well, once again I have put my cart before my horse.
I have succeeded in putting all those nice 15 pounds back on.
Who knew that coming home from house sitting would be so different for my diet. I guess while I was away, I had limited food options and a written out plan with no temptations (such as the 36 candy bars in my sister's room or the fast food drive thru after she gets off work).
I am finding it extremely difficult to stick to my OWN food plan among my....life. My family, Our kitchen, the car...
I find I tend to eat like all the food in the world will disappear in 20 minutes and I have to load up for a long winter. I am not a bear. I will not be hybernating through the winter. I am just a lazy part time nanny who mostly sits on her butt. I do not need enough food to feed a pre-triathalon 30 year old male.
So, HOW do I go about finding that thing inside me that is motivation enough to work through my journey among my family who is not on the same journey? I mean, without going on a tv reality show like Biggest Loser. yikes, can you imagine? nobody NOBODY wants to see this in a sports bra and bike shorts. gah. Least of all ME.
Right, so REALITY is, I'll have to get up every day, breathe in and out all day long and plan to walk for at least a half hour every day. This is something available to my life. I HAVE a half hour for walking. I just need to use it. Every morning, I take Sam into work and there is a park in the same town with a track around it that is 1/3rd of a mile. I should put on my walking shoes each morning and hit that three rounds. To start!
I can still use the Slim Fast diet approach to keep the calories low. Between 1400 and 1800. I would like to lose at a steady 2 lb rate. Ideally.

I am officially a LOSER!

I have been doing quite well these last few weeks. House sitting went smoothly and PERFECTLY with the plan I've set up for myself.
I weighed myself last night and I am down 15.6 pounds! THAT is inspiring/motivating.
Tonight for dinner mom made spare ribs (with the barbecue sauce I mixed up that was my dear late grandmother's recipe) and I put together a huge spinach salad with onion, yellow pepper and mandarin oranges. I am full. of all the good stuff. Not a bunch of carbs. I have eaten a protein dinner and got in my greens. :)
Here's to the next week of being a LOSER!!!

New Plan

Okay folks. the method I was "using" before I was not finding worked with my life. I found that I had not been dieting at all. I was paying to use the program, but my head and heart were not in it. Great program, wrong time in my life.
So, last Thursday, I started doing Slim Fast. I have been able to curb my appetite by having a snack in between each "meal". This way, I am eating SOMETHING every two hours. This is working in my life right now and I am hopeful that I will see results and be further motivated to incorporate something like this into my daily life for the rest of it.
Right now, my set up is:

Breakfast: meal replacement shake made with fat free milk
snack: snack bar or fruit or yogurt
Lunch: on or around 500 calorie balanced (leafy) meal.
snack: fiber one bar usually.
Dinner: meal replacement shake made with fat free milk
snack: yogurt or snack bar or apples and peanut butter

I will be house sitting all next week, so i think this plan will suit me just perfect. I may have to eat lunch out a few times, but I am up for that!
wish me luck!